Juice

Juice went too soon man; damn you, drugs!

I wish I got a chance to see him live in concert.

I go on Youtube and sometimes bump into recommendations of him freestyling off a random beat.

Spitting rhymes and bars with dope eloquence.

And yeah, I know, mixing in some obscenities here and there.

Sometimes looking like he's high off some bad stuff; sometimes looking like an oracle for some spirit.

But all I see is talent; some kid from the Windy City blessed beyond measure.

Armed and Dangerous is still my favourite Juice record.

The beat, the vibe, the rhymes. It's just so good.

I've seen videos on Youtube of Juice starting off some shows with an A&D walk-in.

Always so dope man!

I also really enjoyed this behind the scenes story from Lyrical Lemonade.

If only he'd found a way past the drugs, how many more dope records would we have had to bump?

I had years of addiction myself, and trust me, that shit is hard.

Even when you think it's gone, there's some sediment lurking around waiting for you to be needy or in a bad headspace.

It's the source of so many if's, buts and maybe's.

On the flip side, I always found it to be a reminder that I don't have total control.

Without my addiction, I'd prolly have lost my faith.

I'd have felt like I had mastered everything in my life.

But this one thing is just elusive!

I can't do it myself! I need help!

I need to trust someone else to help me!

Even now, it's not 100% gone.

But I found help!

My faith kept me going; kept me from losing myself completely to my addiction.

Kept me from claiming it as "It's just who I am".

Wisdom & love led me to talk about it.

They led me to accountability.

So now I do not fight alone! I do not wrap myself in misery and dejection when I slip up.

I talk about it. Why did it happen again? What could I have done differently?

What do I really want, that the addiction provides?

Can I find that thing elsewhere?

In someone...?

In Jesus?